David Letterman did not like Senator John McCain canceling his appearance on his show to supposedly head back to Washington to work on the $700,000,000,000 Wall Street bailout plan. Actually, McCain didn’t head back to D.C. Nor did he suspend his campaign, as he pledged. He dumped Letterman to instead record an interview with Katie Couric.

“You don’t suspend your campaign. This doesn’t smell right,” said Letterman. “This isn’t the way a tested hero behaves. I think someone’s putting something in his Metamucil.”

“He can’t run the campaign because the economy is cratering? Fine, put in your second string quarterback, Sarah Palin. Where is she?”

“What are you going to do if you’re elected and things get tough? Suspend being president? We’ve got a guy like that now!”